


Fear and Concern

by Shyspyder



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Demon Shane Madej, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Human Ryan Bergara, Hurt Ryan Bergara, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Protective Shane Madej, Scared Ryan Bergara, demon shane, hopping on that demon shane bandwagon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-05-21 15:01:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14917571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shyspyder/pseuds/Shyspyder
Summary: Acting as an overqualified babysitter for wanna-be paranormal investigators wasn't exactly Shane's idea of a good time. But even demons have responsibilities, and this Ryan Bergara might not be what he expected after all...





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> My first BFU fic! This fic is (obviously) based on the fictionalized versions of Ryan and Shane's characters. This is the first time I've written a fic about people who are, like, real people who could actually theoretically read this which is a little weird but here we are lol. Anyway hope you enjoy!

The demon stood before the council with his hands--his very new and very human hands--clasped behind his back. The last time he had been here was the day before, when the council informed him of his return to the earth’s surface and back amongst the humans. He wasted no time finding a suitable vessel. In the past he had always gone with dead ones. The trick was finding one that wasn’t rotted out of its skull yet, but just long enough gone that he wouldn’t run into a grieving family member hanging around. The living were easier to find--loud and always stomping around. But it just wasn’t worth dealing with the constant clawing against his skull. They certainly were fighters, these humans. Not to mention learning all the complicated little backstories they had and their strange quirks...he cringed internally at the thought of all the work this one would take.

Shane Madej was his name. A Los Angeles resident who had recently taken up a gig at Buzzfeed editing clickbait facebook videos. He was charming, good-looking, and a perfect addition to Buzzfeed’s latest project: Buzzfeed Unsolved.

Enter Ryan Bergara. The creator behind BSU and determined to prove the existence of demons and ghosts. He was harmless, really. If he posed any sort of true threat then the council would have sent more then some random back alley demon to cover it up. No, the demonic council had had his mission very clear. He was only here to keep an eye on the spirits, keep them from showing too much of themselves. He remembered the fire churning in his stomach when the council first told him for his latest assignment. He was just getting comfortable being in hell again, just getting used to the fires and screams. Hell was familiar. Earth? In Earth he was a fish out of water. The only thing he would have to ground him was his mission--keeping his brethren in check and acting as a glorified security guard for a human, of all things.

“Is there anything else you require?” He asked, trying to keep the boredom from his voice. The absolute last thing he needed now was to piss off the council. They might assign him to something even worse if he wasn’t careful.

“That’ll be all,” the demon before him grunted, waving a scaled hand in his direction.

He-- _Shane_ \--was the only one wearing a host to this meeting. The only one who didn’t have horns sprouting from his head or large canines curving his smile. He stood a good three feet shorter too, which only served to remind him of the position he was in here. “You’ve been given your orders as promised. I would recommend you get started as soon as possible.”

“Great,” Shane muttered. There really wasn’t much use hanging around much longer. Besides, the quicker he got this job done, the quicker he could return back. With the snap of his fingers, he found himself amongst the bustling sidewalks of downtown Los Angeles, hands shoved in his pockets and eyes traveling past the mile-long traffic.

* * *

 

It had been three months since Shane got accepted for the job. It was easier then he ever thought it would be, playing the part of the skeptic to Ryan’s believer in the supernatural other. His host had succumbed quicker then most, especially when promised with a new promotion when he woke him up. _If I woke him up_ , he thought passively. But this Shane had given him all the information he needed--the names of his parents and where he went to school, how broken he was when Brent was cast for the first episode of _Unsolved_ over him, and the excitement he felt when Shane announced re-casts. It was impossibly easy to convince him to let him borrow his body for a bit. Or at least, until this Ryan grew tired of messing around with spirits, and his host could move on with enough camera experience to get that promotion he had always wanted. And so Shane--the demon Shane--took the reins.

The first few videos were fairly easy to film, talking about the illuminati and the men and black, both of which were mere conspiracy theories made up by humans. It was their third video where they began to get out in the field. But even still, it didn’t take too long for Shane to get into the rhythm of things. Usually his presence alone would be enough to keep the resident spirits quiet, but Ryan’s fear was like a beacon to them. Shane had seen it in a few other humans before. The raw emotion that radiated from their soul when brought into contact with the supernatural. He knew that Ryan was human, but he didn’t realize he would be so... _human_. It was almost enduring, watching him call out to the ghosts and get nervous at the slightest bump in the night. Perhaps Shane was once that way, back when he was still alive. He could still feel echoes of it one was, pulling away at his host. At least, that’s what he told himself. That it was just his host. He shook past it, keeping the light smile on his face and the banter in check when they were on camera.

* * *

 Ryan wasn’t sure what to make of Shane Madej.

They did a screen test once when he was first putting the show together, but it didn’t work out. It wasn’t until after Brent left and he started to look around for a replacement that he was introduced to him again. The banter was quicker and easier then it had ever been before. It was like this Shane was a whole different person from the ambitious recently-promoted intern from before. This Shane was cool yet skeptical, radiating a sort of calm energy. He didn’t have to think twice about giving him the job.

But despite working together for a few months now, Ryan felt like he knew next to nothing about Shane. He tried to take him out for drinks once, after filming their very first video, but he didn’t want to push. It was only a professional relationship, after all. Outside of their videos, they kept to themselves and only spoke to each other in polite nods and the occasional hello. Shane never asked Ryan what his plans were on their rare day off, nor did he ask about his personal life any more then what was necessary to maintain that politeness.

And Ryan didn’t mind. Really, he didn’t. He had his life outside of work--however boring and pitiful it might have been, and Shane had his. Even if he found his thoughts wandering back to how easy their conversations seemed on camera--or at least they were to him, anyway, or the lingering feeling he felt on his arm when Shane stopped him from taking an accidental tumble down the stairs...

No, there was no use thinking about _that_.

* * *

 They were in the process of filming their sixth video on the Whaley house when Shane remembered what concern felt like. “The Most Haunted House in America,” it was branded. Shane slid his eyes past the spirits peering through the windows, their wide, curious eyes burning into his own. It wasn’t until they turned their attention towards the human beside him that he glared up at them. _You know what I am_ , he thought. He could tell by their hesitancy that they had heard him. _You know why I was sent here. The human mustn't know. Stay silent for one night, and you can go back to your usual hauntings._ Though they both knew that it wouldn’t just be for one night. Shane wasn’t the only demon around these parts, he could smell his brothers’ and sisters’ scent all over the place. Other demons assigned to the paranormally curious humans, keeping the spirits of those left behind quiet while their charges poked around. While the ghosts had no consequence in the usual haunting here and there, the demons knew that the last thing their kind needed was a group of humans getting funny ideas of hunting them down again. He shivered at the memories of his past visits to earth. How many times had he been sprayed in holy water again and chanted to in badly pronounced latin again? More than he could count, no doubt.

“I’m trying to distract myself,” Ryan muttered. He shifted uncomfortably. Shane gave him a sideways glance, smirking at the shivering human.

“No, no we have to go in!” He replied. He kept his tone light as the cameras rolled. This was good--audiences loved this sort of banter. “After you.”

Ryan shifted his weight foot to foot. “You go first!” he exclaimed at last.

“Ok,” Shane shrugged. He took a step into the door, keeping up the conversation as the soft hum of the cameras and flicker of their lights burned against his host’s senses. He snuck a side glance at Ryan, taking in the fear that radiated from his wide eyes. Behind him, he could see the ghost’s glowing eyes that quickly turned away when they caught Shane’s attention.

“Do you think because you believe in all this stuff that you have a higher chance of being a ghost?” He decided to change the subject, scrolling through his mental list of topics. Though he knew that belief had nothing to do with whether or not one became a restless spirit, he was curious what the human had to say.

Ryan bit his lip, thinking for a moment before speaking. “I’d be a pleasant ghost, I’d like pour people tea and stuff like that.”

“What?”

“I’d do chores around the house. They’d be like “whoa, all my laundry’s folded. How about that? Thanks Ryan! And I’d tip my cap and I’d tap dance out of the room.”

Shane shook his head. He couldn’t help the smile that broke out across his face at the thought. That would be a first. A spirit that was actually pleasant. “That...sounds fun.”

“I know, right? Wouldn’t you like to be haunted by me?” Ryan’s own smile faltered after he spoke, and Shane looked away. There was a silence that then grew between them. Shane wasn’t sure if it was awkward or not--he was never much good at trying to read such things. After a while longer, they eventually got caught up in conversation again. It was different this time though, conversation only really meant for the footage, nothing more.

After a time, Ryan suggested something that made Shane sigh. _Will this human ever give up?_

He suggested sitting in a particularly haunted spot in the house, just below where a ghostly woman peered down with curious eyes. Shane shot her a warning glare that would have sent most spirits scattering, but this one only grinned back, her head tilting in an inhuman angle. Ryan sat beneath, his eyes wide as a saucer pan.

“How do you feel?” He asked.

“I feel dizzy,” said Ryan. He blinked a few times, shaking his head. “I know when you see those ghost hunting shows people always say they’re full of shit, but...I don’t like this dude.” His voice cracked at the end, before he shook his head.

That was where Shane felt it. It was just fleeting enough that he couldn’t quite pin it down, but enough that he knew what it was. A brief flash of cold that swept through her gut at the way change in Ryan’s voice. He knew that the human was afraid, he and all the other spirits in this house could smell it before they even layed eyes on him. But this? This was terror. And that cold pit in his gut when the ghost taunted him? Well, he didn’t even want to _think_ about what that was.

What he did know was that if Ryan’s eyes weren’t still on him, he would have sent that ghost back to hell before she could howl another word. She watched from above, her fingers combing through her hair with an innocent growing on her face. When she saw his eyes shift up towards hers for as briefly as he dared, she shrugged and gaped her mouth open, as if to say, “ _it isn’t_ my _fault the human scared so easy!”_ It wasn’t until Ryan covered his eyes with his hands that Shane shot a deathly glare at the ghost, black sliding across the whites of his eyes. The ghost was gone in a flash, and he felt himself breathing a sigh of relief.

He hadn’t even realized he was holding his breath.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Part Two

Ryan Bergara left the house as fast as he could, Shane fast on his heels. He could hear his quiet laughter and saw him shake his head and roll his eyes before they exited the building, but he wasn’t fooled. He could see that spark of fear in his eyes when that ghost (and no matter what Shane said, it definitely  _ was _ a ghost!) pass through him. Or at least, he thought it might have been fear. They had slept on in centuries-old hotels and hospitals and not once had he seen Shane show true fear. 

Although…

For someone who claimed to know the man so well, Ryan didn’t know a thing about Shane Madej. Sure, they’re desks were near each other back when they were both just video editors at the buzzfeed office, but that didn’t mean they  _ talked _ . He thought that would change when they did that second screen test. He thought, for a foolish moment, that the banter they had between another was more then just good on-screen chemistry. But he had shaken the thought from his mind the second it had entered. 

“Come on,” he muttered. “Let’s get out of here.” 

Shane opened his mouth, as if to say something, then closed it, eyes narrowing in a frown. They made their way back to the hotel, silence filling the car. It wasn’t until they were ten minutes into the ride that Ryan let himself sag against the backseat, his chest heaving. He wanted to close his eyes, to at last give in to his sleep deprivation. But every time he closed his eyes, images of ghostly specters filled his vision and cold air rushed through his stomach. He forced himself to keep his eyes open and his breath even as he watched the trees pass by. 

“You alright man?” 

He jumped and glanced to his left at Shane, whose eyes were still frowning as he stared ahead. If he truly was scared back at that house, there was no sign of it now. Aside from the slight crease in his eyebrows, his face was smooth and one of his long legs bounced gently. Ryan had noticed that right away about the man. He never seemed to be able to stay still, no matter how what the situation. There was always one of his limbs moving or a foot tapping. His face, on the other hand, was always calm. No matter what, it was always calm.  _ I must have imagined it, whatever I saw back there _ . And he wasn’t just thinking of the ghosts. “Yeah,” he replied. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Shane shrugged. “If you say so.”

Ryan turned his face away from his co-worker and back towards the door. He was grateful that Shane had offered to drive. He didn’t think he could have managed it, the cold feeling still settling in his gut with every breath he took. It was getting better, he just needed a second to breathe is all. 

“We’re almost to the hotel,” Shane said. Ryan nodded against the glass, letting the coolness of the window spread across his forehead. They pulled up the hotel a few minutes later, the car slowing to a careful stop. Ryan moved to get out, but Shane was already on his side. He tried to ignore the warmth crawling up his skin at the feel of his hand on his bicep, contrasted to his non-stop shivering ever since they left the house.

“I’m alright,” he muttered, shrugging out of his grip. Shane immediately obliged. If he felt any of the ice in Ryan’s tone, the expression on his face didn’t betray it--instead retaining its usual stillness. He opened his mouth to apologize, before stopping himself. Instead of lingering on the topic, he followed Shane through the doors and back to their room.

When they finally reached the room, he wanted nothing more then to crash. But as soon as he took off his jacket, he realized that he wasn’t even the least bit tired. All the memories of that night rushing back to him. He sat up against the bed frame, his legs stretched out and his laptop whirring softly in the still-silent room. The screen opened up to the uploaded footage of that night. He would have to send the raw footage to HQ at some point, but he was too tired to sift through what they had right now. But when he glanced over at Shane, he saw that he was doing the same, the screen of his macbook illuminating his face. His eyes were focused intently on their work, scanning the footage.  _ What is he looking for? _

Ryan frowned at the sight. How many times have they sat in this same way, staring at the screens of their respective laptops and ignoring each other as the clock ticked by? Ryan sighed. No, he wouldn't have it. Not tonight. Not after their first real ghost hunt since they started this thing (and no, the Winchester mansion didn’t count. The place was nothing more than a glorified tourist trap--got a fair number of views, though). He took another breath, and clicked the screen and the bright light shut.  _ Here goes nothing. _ Shane glanced up in surprise at the sound.

"I’m going down for a drink,” he said at last. “You want to come with?”

* * *

Shane wasn’t sure why he said yes. Maybe it was because he felt bad for the human. Whether he truly believed it or not, he had just had his very first true contact with the spirit world, his first interaction with a ghost. He was marked in a way that he could never return from. What surprised Shane even more was the pang of sorrow at the thought. This human, this wide-eyed and overly-enthusiastic goddamn ray of sunshine of a human, had taken his first step on a path he could and would never return from. Shane shivered.  _ This  _ was the exact reason he hadn’t wanted to take this job. His soul may have been shriveled and mutilated to something beyond recognition, but it was still a soul, and it somehow always managed to find a way to grow too close. He wasn’t sure he wanted to watch this human travel down this path, as so many others have before him.  _ Not unless I do my job right _ , he thought, a newfound determination taking over.  _ Tonight was a fluke, a lack of foresight on my part. Next night I won’t let the ghosts come too close. I won’t let them. _

And he really should have said no. If the council knew of the lump in his throat that hadn’t disappeared until the human was safe in their room, or of how he was already making plans to drive back to the Whaley house the minute Ryan fell asleep and send that damn ghost back to hell, then he would really be in for it. But they didn’t know, and even if they did, he didn’t care. Ryan was looking at him with those same saucer-pan eyes, and even the Whaley house ghost could wait a few more hours.

The hotel bar was nearly deserted, save for a few chattering businessmen in the corner and a tired-looking bartender. But Ryan didn’t seem to mind. Shane could almost taste the relief radiating off him when he accepted, his mouth moving a mile per minute as they ordered their drinks.

They settled into conversation as easily as they had on screen, just as Shane had suspected it would. He knew that their on-screen chemistry wasn’t something that could easily be faked--there was a reason why the real Ryan Manej hadn’t gotten the position right away. Though he would never admit it, there were some days of filming where Shane didn’t even feel like they were working at all, just two friends having normal conversations about ghosts and ghouls. But Shane was who he was, and the human was who he was too. Shane wasn’t here to make friends, he was here to make sure the supernatural didn’t get too close to stubborn humans.

So why did Ryan have to make it so  _ easy _ ?

“So that’s it then? After everything we just went through, you _ still  _ don’t believe?” Ryan exclaimed, taking another drink. The first thing Shane learned was that Ryan Bergara was a lightweight. Only on his third beer, and he was already the laughing a little longer and moving a little slower. Thankfully, Shane’s host was able to hold his liquor longer then some of the others he had possessed.

He grinned and shook his head, the lie slipping through his lips easier then the truth ever had. “Nope.”

Ryan shook his head with a sigh. “I can’t believe you,” he said. “I was scared shitless, and you  _ must  _ have felt something! I don’t know, like, the aura of the room--”

“The aura?”

“You know what I mean!”

Shane laughed. “Sorry man. Don’t get me wrong, I’d like to believe in all this supernatural stuff as much as you, but there’s no scientific evidence--”

“Oh,  _ scientific evidence _ ,” Ryan sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes. “You don’t need scientific evidence for everything, Shane. Sometimes you just have to run off faith.”

Shane didn’t have anything to say for that. Instead, he brought the beer up to his lips once more, glancing away from Ryan.

“But seriously though…” his voice had grown lower, and Shane snapped his head back in his direction. Ryan was staring at the corner of the table, eyes narrowed deep in thought. “I never  _ really _ believed that ghosts or anything like them were real. It’s all the show, you know? You’re the skeptic and I’m the believer…” he trailed off, and turned his eyes to meet Shane’s. “But after what I felt in that room, I...I don’t know. It just seems like it  _ could _ be likely, you know?”

When Shane didn’t reply, Ryan signed, leaning back in his seat. “Nevermind.”

Maybe it  _ was _ the alcohol, or maybe it was because they were the only ones left in that dingey bar, but Shane felt that cold hand clench at his throat once more. Something about the way Ryan leaned back and sighed in disappointment made him want to immediately turn back, reverse the clock if he had to. And he hated that he felt that way. He wasn’t here for this. He had a job to do, plain and simple. The voices of the council echoed in the back of his mind, warning him of what he could and could not reveal to the humans. He was here to  _ protect _ , not to inform. Never to inform. “I don’t know,” he mumbled. “Maybe.”

He didn’t let his internal cringe show on his face. But...it wasn’t as if he was  _ telling _ him that ghosts were real, right? The real Shane Madej would’ve have said the same, wouldn’t he? The other Shane was as skeptic as anyone else, but even he would have humored his friend.

Is that what they were now? Friends? The coldness returned to his throat. But this time, it wasn’t an unpleasant feeling. He was surprised, by how much he didn’t mind the sound of it. He didn't mind it at all. There certainly weren’t any rules about demons having friends, right? It wasn’t like he would know. Any time he allowed himself to drift close enough to anything resembling friendship he stomped it out in a heartbeat. He looked back at Ryan, who’s face had lit up in excitement and continued to babble on in endless conversation. He was like an excited puppy, grateful for his co-worker finally deciding to open up, even if it was too little to really mean anything. But he didn’t seem to mind, and he didn’t push for anything more.

Shane wasn’t sure what to make of it. And at the same time, he wasn’t sure that he needed to make anything of it. He never had a friend before, but if he was going to work this job anyway, then he might as well not let himself not be completely miserable along the way. And Ryan Bergara didn’t make him miserable, not one bit.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I definitely didn't think I'd have another chapter posted by now, but I had some free time to finish it up before work. The next chapter after this is probably going to be a little longer, and (maybe) a lot more angsty. I'm still not really sure exactly where this whole fic is going, but I'm hoping it'll end up being at around 30-40k?? We'll see! Thanks for reading :)


	3. Part Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said this chapter was going to be longer but that just didn't happen lmao. It's a bit of a slow day today though, so I'm hoping to crank out a few chapters before the week starts back up. A quick note about this one - I know that the episodes I’ve been using and the splitting of the series into True Crime/Supernatural is super out of order, but just kinda go with it lol.

It had been a few months since they began Buzzfeed Unsolved when Ryan first brought it up with Shane. It was a simple concept, incorporating a True Crime series in their show. But it made sense, given their name was “Unsolved,” and they were quicker and easier to make then when they visited haunting locations. 

Shane absolutely hated them. Demons and ghosts he understood. He was one of them, after all. But humans? He didn’t understand them one bit, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to. But the episodes were easy enough, and ultimately, they made Shane’s job easier. He didn’t have to travel to different locations and try to keep curious ghosts and spirits at bay while he and Ryan paraded around like rich tourists. 

But still, he could help but miss the supernatural cases. He missed having an excuse to scream profanities at the spirits and laugh at Ryan’s reactions. With the true crime cases, he felt like a fish out of water. All of this was so unfamiliar to him. These weren’t the sort of demons you could chase away with a threat of damnation or a quick glare. These were the people they saw every day, and it made Shane question what any average person could be capable of. 

The Jonbenet case is the one that first got to him. It was sort of ironic for a demon to be affected so much by this. Funny, even. But Shane, despite his millenia of haunting and killing and scaring the shit out of curious teenagers, would never dream of imagining the horrors that they encountered within the true crime episodes. But he knew that they got decent views, and Ryan always enjoyed doing them.

Perhaps that should have been his first hint of what he was willing to endure just to see Ryan doing something he enjoyed. 

For this video, they were at Sunset cliffs in San Diego, peering over the edge of wear Michelle Von Emster’s body had washed up all those years ago. It was a beautiful day. More beautiful than this day deserved to be, that was for sure. To his relief, it was cold enough out that the beach was fairly quiet, save for the occasional human walking their dog or child chasing the seagulls. They only had to be here for an hour or two, just long enough to grab some quick footage and head back to L.A. 

As they stepped closer to the cliff, Shane could almost taste the excitement radiating off of Ryan. 

“Not a fan of heights?” He joked. 

Ryan didn’t say anything, but Shane could see the way he stepped uncertainty towards where Michelle Von Emster had been found. “To be fair, it looks very dangerous,” he said, peering over the edge. “You could break your neck on that--”

Ryan frowned and leaned forward, staring at the sandy rocks below. Shane felt that familiar cold hand from the night before clench slightly at the sight of the human leaning too close to the edge. He shook it off to already being on edge because of their topic of conversation, but he couldn’t help but drift a little closer as he shook his head. “But the injuries she sustained…”

Ryan nodded. “Yeah, I don’t think falling off of this would cause your leg to fall off and sharpen to a point.” He wandered even closer still, and Shane had to fight the urge to pull him back. He knew that Ryan wouldn’t be happy if he did that--the footage they were getting, with the panned view of the ocean and the standing in the very place where Michelle Von Emster’s body was found, would be annoying to recapture. “I can definitely see how someone could fall off of this, it’s not very stable.” He laughed nervously. “I say as I stand on this ridge here.” 

“Alright buddy, I think we’ve got enough footage. Let’s get out of here before you take a dive.” He took another step forward and reached for Ryan’s arm. 

Shane had heard people describe accidents as occurring in a sequence of slow motions. He had never understood what they meant by that, or why they would choose those words to describe it, until now. Until he watched his friend--and dammit, he had let Ryan become his  _ friend,  _ of all things--turn back and look at him with those wide, terrified eyes as his feet slipped. Looking back on it, he could have stopped it if he wanted to. He could have let his true form show and saved Ryan from the danger that lay below. But there was still that ever-selfish part of him that wanted his friend to stay in the dark just a moment longer. There was something growing inside him, something he had refused to acknowledge, and he knew that it would all be gone the moment Ryan discovered the truth.

And he would have saved him, if he had known how bad the damage would have been. If he had known that Ryan would actually  _ actually _ fall, then he would have done something about it. It wasn’t until he saw the raw fear on Ryan’s face that he knew it was too late. He was frozen to the spot, the memories of the voice-over he and Ryan had done about the case still fresh in his mind. His own mantra repeated in his head in return, taunting him.  _ Just give me the ghosts and spirits. My brethren I can protect him from, but not this. I can’t save him from this.  _ He wasn’t thinking about Hell, either. In that moment, he would have given up all of Hell if he could just see the human standing unharmed and three more feet closer to where he was.  _ When did that happen? What moment did he start viewing the human as something to protect, rather than something to watch? _

“ _ Shane! _ ” Ryan’s cry of fear immediately snapped him out of his thoughts. 

“Ryan! No!” He cried, and stumbled forward. But it was too late, Ryan was already halfway down the cliff’s edge and the roaring in Shane’s human ears was too loud for him to bear. 

* * *

If Ryan had thought he had seen concern in Shane’s eyes back in the Whaley house, it was nothing compared to what he saw now. The scream of “ _ No _ !” when Ryan felt the rocks crumble would remain burned in his memory as he felt the world fade in and out. At some point, when he opened his eyes, he could see a field of blue clouding his vision. The burning sun hovered on the edge, making his head ring. He squinted, waving his hand in a desperate attempt to block it out.

Something was pulling at his arm. He could hear a faint murmur in the background, the sound of a voice speaking quick and nervous words that he struggled to make out. He didn’t know why, but it was so  _ so _ important to him that he understand those words. After a minute or two, the words became clearer and clearer, until they formed into something he could recognize. 

“Ryan? Shit--oh God, can you hear me?  _ Please _ say you can hear me.  _ Fuck _ !” The voice seemed to repeat those same phrases over and over again. A collection of “shits” and “oh fucks” and “Ryans.” Ryan forced his eyes open once more, squinting his eyes against the San Diego sun in attempt to locate the source. Sure enough, Shane’s tall figure was leaning over him, his eyes wide with fear. “Say something!” He demanded, still pulling at his wrist. 

Ryan glanced down at his arm, which was a mistake. Blood soaked where he had scraped against a rock at some point, his forearm torn and red soaking his jacket sleeve. “Oh God,” he groaned. Shane immediately let go of his arm, muttering a string of apologies and reassurances that an ambulance was on the way.

“What happened?” Ryan groaned, twisting his other arm. He felt like he had been hit by a truck. Which probably wasn’t too far off, given the distance that he must have fallen. How he was even conscious at all was a bit of a miracle. He didn’t need to ask, because he could see it in Shane’s eyes. He could see the disbelief and pure relief as he shushed him. 

“Don’t talk,” Shane replied. “You don’t need to talk, just--just hold on, alright?” He felt something warm on his shoulder, realizing that Ryan had moved his hands there instead. He leaned into the touch. 

Ryan frowned. “But you jus’ asked me to say something.” 

Shane laughed. But it wasn’t a normal laugh--it was something strangled and thin. Broken, even. Full of fear and nerves and everything Shane was not. Ryan hated hearing it. “Stop,” he muttered. “You’re--you’re the skeptical one, remember? You’re not s’posed to be...scared and shit.” 

Shane laughed again. “I know, buddy. I know.” 


	4. Part Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess the new season gave me some much-needed inspiration

A day before now, if Shane had been asked what his least favorite part about hospitals were, he would have answered without a doubt that it was the ghosts.

No, really. It was the ghosts.

They were everywhere in this place. Always passing through guests and howling in the middle of the night. It was amazing that Ryan hadn’t suggested they investigate one of these places before. He certainly would have had enough material for it. It was funny, how these humans never seemed to be able to see what was right in front of them. It was as if they were purposefully ignoring what was right in front of their eyes. Old places might hold the most tortured spirits, sure, but modern hospitals held the most numerous.

Normally, Shane would have been annoyed. He would have done anything he could have to get out of this, to spend his evening doing literally anything else.

But now, the thought of having to deal with ghosts and spirits didn’t even cross his mind. Not even when he had already passed through the doors, following the one person in this world that he gave a shit about.

And yes, even if it took Ryan literally falling off a cliff and his life hanging in the balance (at least, as far as Shane knew. Nobody in this hospital was telling him anything), Shane did care about Ryan. Shane cared a lot. Certainly more than he ever thought that he would. And he hated that it took something like this for him to realize it.

He leaned back against the thin, plastic chair, groaning as he stretched his long limbs towards the coffee table. That was one thing he hadn’t missed about being back in a human body. All the inconvenient pains and aches that came with it.

A pang of regret passed through him for choosing this particular one, but it was a thought that completely vanished at the realization that if he hadn’t, he likely never would have met Ryan in the first place. And the thought of never meeting Ryan was almost too much for him to bear.

Shane sighed again, rubbing a hand through his hair. How long had he been in this suffocating room? A few hours at least. He looked up at the nurses up front, debating whether or not he should ask if there were any updates on Ryan’s condition. But he knew that it would be of no use. He had already tried that a dozen times before, before finally receiving a harsh glare that would rival some of his more frightening co-workers.

Instead, he tapped his leg against the cold floor some more, ignoring the gasps of unseen ghosts that wandered past him, always sure to avert their eyes when he looked up. He counted down the minutes on the clock, watching as they grew into hours. Somewhere in the distance, he could hear an argument between a patient and someone else, but he ignored it. Perhaps focusing on something else would have been a nice distraction, but right now, Shane could only find himself being able to focus on one thing.

All his thoughts were drawn back to Ryan. The excited look on his face every time he suggested a new haunted location, the way his eyes lit up with fear, and the way he laughed when Shane pointed it out. But most of all, it was the way that it made Shane feel the need to protect him. It was ridiculous, really. Shane knew that none of these spirits or so-called demons would never actually hurt him. But Ryan had made it real enough for both of them. His enthusiasm for something that was so commonplace for Shane made it all seem so real. Like for a moment, Shane could pretend that he was just his co-host in this crazy web series that had grown bigger than either of them could have ever imagined. Like this could all work out, in the end.

Like falling in love with him wouldn’t have consequences.  

“Ryan Bergara?” A tired-looking doctor emerged from the back hall, immediately tearing Shane from his thoughts. A clipboard was held loosely in her hands, the grip of someone who had done this sort of thing a thousand times.

Shane wasn’t sure if that made him feel better or worse.

“Yes?” He walked forward in three long strides, his eyes wide. He could feel his human heart thudding loudly in his chest, and a roaring in his ears that didn’t stop until he spoke out loud.

The doctor set the clipboard down and looked at him. She frowned at his appearance, looking her over with the side of her mouth quirked down. But Shane didn’t care about any of that. The only thing he cared about right now was Ryan. Whether or not he was ok. That was going to be ok.

“Is he alright?” He demanded. Her silence was driving him insane.

After a moment, the doctor seemed to snap out of her observation, though her eyebrows were still raised as he looked back up at him. “My name is Doctor McGoldrick, I’ve been overseeing Mr. Bergara. Why don’t you follow me?” She asked.

Shane swallowed and nodded, following her back into the hallway. It was hard to focus on the steps ahead of him, knowing that what lay ahead might not be something he was prepared to see. He should have spent his time in that stuffy waiting room preparing for…no. That wasn’t something he could afford to think about. Not now.

Doctor McGoldrick shut the door with a soft click, her back still facing Shane. He drew in a breath and let it out slowly, eyes not leaving her as she walked forward.

“Is Ryan alright?” He repeated. His voice shook when he spoke this time, giving away the fear that was radiating from within.

“Your friend took quite the fall,” she said. Shane held his breath. “But he’ll be alright. He has some severe bruising and a fracture along his left ankle. He’s still unconscious at the moment, but he’s under plenty of painkillers.” 

Shane breathed out in relief. “Can I see him?” He asked, standing up. 

The doctor smiled softly for the first time. “Of course,” she said. “If you’ll come this way.”

Shane followed him, still not quite believing his luck. When they finally reached the room, the thudding in his heart had grown almost too loud for him to bear it any more.

He looked so small, alone in that bed. Of course, Ryan always looked small, but never as much as he did then. Shane swallowed the lump in his throat, blinking away the tears that were forming in the corners of his eyes. What was happening to him?

 He paced forward, shaking his head, before settling down in the chair beside him. He wouldn’t leave his side. It was his fault he had fallen from that cliff. If he hadn’t distracted him, if he had just paid attention to the small, beautiful human that lay before him.  

“I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered. His concentration on the once-lively face and the beeping of the monitor drowned out whatever it was that Doctor McGoldrick said to him. He shifted in the chair, and took the smaller hand in his own.

He would stay here as long as he could.


End file.
